Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children. 

~George Bernard Shaw~

23^rd April 2009, I went on a short trip driving around Selwyn with my friends. 

I guess its true what they say that a picture paints a thousand words in itself. On that day, I was happy again.

To be on the road with good friends, driving away from the University.

To hear the sound of the waves by the shore again.

To be silly once more.

Happiness has become a stranger in this part of my life. Gradually I realized that im growing up day by day. Another step taken deeper into life as I take another step further from dreams. It was what I wanted when I was young, to grow up fast, to be mature. Cause I thought being an adult, cause I thought being mature, would be better as they can think rationally, and life would be better if I wouldn’t make anymore silly mistakes.

I knew, the more you understand, the more you have to consider; The more you know, the more trouble and problems you have ; The more responsibility, the more burden.

But I can’t stay ignorant and irresponsible forever, one day, I have to face the truth.

Well, im where I wanted to be now. But why do I feel this is not what I wanted? Why do I still feel emptiness in my heart? Why have I become so serious? I lost sense of humour.

Let me freeze time for awhile, and linger in the carefree days back when i was truly happy. Let me grow up in slow motion...

I miss feeling happy without knowing it won’t last,

I miss letting my fingers run wild & free on the guitar strings without knowing I should be starring at a god damn book.

I miss running as fast as I can in the hard rain without having to worry people might think im crazy.

I miss dancing like a fool without knowing I look like a retard.

I miss living life without worrying what time is it.

I miss living life without knowing it will end.

Worst of all, I miss dreaming without knowing it will never come true…

The days when we would laugh and play all day…

Good memories…

The days when friends punch you hard in the face and when you recover you hang out together again the next week; Mature people say & do things that will scar so deep in your heart without piercing the flesh, and takes a lifetime to heal.

The days we bought McDonald’s and drive 40mins to the seaside, and sink our teeth in the burgers & fries by the sea, watch the sun set, watch the stars, and drive home dancing & singing in the car…

The days we slept in class, under the table on the floor, and club with our lecturers at night. When classes were like parties…

The days in the recording studio, hoping that the song would turn out good instead of hoping that my results are ok. When we lived our music as life, when nothing else mattered.

Why do I feel like crying when I write this? Am I not mature enough to control my emotions? Why do I feel it’s a cruel thing now, being mature, to cage yourself and hide your dreams and emotions, the things that made you so happy you’d laugh your head off and dance around silly, you lock’em in a box & throw it into the sea.

I miss the days when I spit at people who are uptight. Now I should spit at myself.

I miss the days when I always said to my friends “Hey smile abit, You’re missing out the world dude!” Now I wish a mature person would tell me that…

I miss the days when I could loudly say “What could possibly go wrong??”

I miss the days when we would all say “Life Sucks!!!”… But we said it together with a smile…

"Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days, New Days, Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up."

~The Wonder Years~

One day im gonna miss growing up… and start growing old.

And when I do, I wanna be sure I don’t regret not doing the things I wanted while Im still alive. You’ll never know when you’ll go.

So I guess im growing up my own way from now on, cause this is definitely not working for me.

To my beloved dad who is recently worried about aging :

"Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing."

 ~Oliver Wendell Holmes~

With Love,

ZenMuSiCa

Second Child, First Son,
Stubborn & Wild, Run Away Run,
Ignorant & afraid I confess,
Fled to the world of hatred & defy,
You stood by me and warmed my world with your caress,
Yet I broke your heart and made you cry.

The more I grow, the more I understand,
The pain you've been through & all you withstand,
I hate my past, how I was & how I treated everyone in the family,
Laments of the hurtful things I've said & done,
Now I've been around the world and seen many,
At this instant I wish I could undo the wrong.

Dear Mum,
It's been 5 months since we last saw each other,
Im fine here & having a good life after moving out from the catered halls, I managed to survive my own cooking so far.
I know you're probably wondering what am I eating everyday, So I took some samples.. Hahaha.
Erm... I can't really cook well yet so we just eat simple meal for lunch and cook together for dinner...

In the morning we normally have toast bread with pastarani, cheese and vege plus a cup of hot coffee.


Some mornings self-made pancakes but came out Roti Canai...


Brunch, eggs, french toast, potatoes, salad, yogurt plus kiwi...


Some brucnhes with toast with honey & cheese, Pita bread with chicken and chicken soup...


Sometimes Pita with Pancakes and Cereal...


And sometimes Sweet Chilli chicken in Pita's with hot Latte!
For dinner all 4 of us cook together and have various different dishes & soup everyday.

It snowed again last week, but not enough for another SnowBall War with my friends...

It was fun, I like snow... But that morning... wasn't a good timing...

Erm.. Pardon my hair.. I flew right out of bed when Jackie shouted snow & I rushed out to save my Frozen Underwears...

Besides that, Life in Crescent is awesome, I have my freedom again, as most nights my friends will come over and we'll make supper together & sit down for a good chat... The trip to Wellington was really nice as I had a great time there with my friends...

Erm.. This one's a lil' gay but don't worry mum im straight...

... .... ... Still Straight.... ....

Oh and I tried the Reverse Bungee.. Love it!

That's the harbor we visit everynight to watch the stars and chill... Miss it alot...

Then again, thankyou for the new guitar I love it to bits! It sounds pretty good but its rather heavy. Ael, Nik and I all chipped in some cash for another LTD Bass for the band. We're going aiming for some gigs and probably earn some cash & at the same time enjoy music.

Oh and Ael gave me a new hair cut.. haha. I like it...

 

Now Aelezia is here she teaches me alot about cooking and helps me with my studies. I heard what most people say about how a mother will feel when her son has a girlfriend living under the same roof. Some say it will affect the studies. Some say the mother worries that the son might love his girlfriend more and pays more attention to the girl.

Like how I can't say I love my mother more than my dad or my dad over my mum,
Like how I can't say I love my brother more than my sister or my sister over my brother,
Like how I can't say I love honeydew more than mango or mango over honeydew,
Each & everyone of you has a very special place in my heart.
You gave life to me and I am forever in your debt...

I love Aelezia, I've learnt so much from her, her love puts my anger, hatred & troubles asleep.
But not even the Hottest Cutest Prettiest & Sweetest Girl in the world will ever have your place in my heart...

Forever Serve The Family...



To the Best Mother in the world,

                        

                        I Love & Miss You Lots Mum,
                                        Zen Ooi
                           ~ Your BadBoy For Life ~